Hello, This is God
by Tyori
Summary: Sequel to 'Sasuke is my Hero'. Naruto's really messed up, and Gaara's following close behind. This time, it seems to be up to Sasuke to put things right again, with a little help from Kiba, of course. FYI, I prefer reviews to ratings.


Fuck. Oh god, why is it so fucking bright..??

"Get up, Naruto."

I hear an emotionless voice that makes me shiver pleasently. Oh, why hello there, god. I didn't know this brilliant radiance was emminating from _you_. I roll onto my back, tangled in my sleeping bag, which is still regrettably my only form of blanket here. He sits beside me and leans over to kiss me, allowing me to wind my fingers into his hair.

"Do I have to?"

I tease, already almost completely awake. He tugs one of the spikes in my hair and I take the hint that he has to get up, feeling cold once his heat is out of reach. He doesn't talk as much as he used to, which is really saying something; I personally find it extremely worrisome. Am I not good enough?? Is it because I'm too inexperienced?! Oh my god, what if he's starting to hate me?! This is terrible! A catastrophe! It sucks! I leap up and halt. I'm naked. I run down the hallway and bang on the bathroom door, sleeping bag dragging behind me as I hold it in place to cover my nudity.

"Open up!"

I bang louder. I hear a chuckle, and whip around. Sasuke! My heart skips a beat, and I force back my expression of intense relief.

"It's empty."

"Oh, yeah, I just... I really had to pee." Yeah, that's it..!

He raises a perfect eyebrow, and I run into the bathroom and lock the door behind myself. That was... smooth, suave... That was... it was... Lame-ass. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! I hit my head on the wall to stop myself from randomly screaming in panic, and turned the shower on; I had to get ready anyways, and I'm skilled enough at multitasking that I can freak out at the same time. He didn't even call me Dobe! Something is very wrong here!

I trudge down the stairs quickly, scrubbing my hair with my clothes in my other hand. When I get to the bottom, I look up, out of my thoughts, and into hell. I dropped everything. My couch is torn to shreds, my TV is now OFFICIALLY broken, and my lamp...! For crying out loud, at least _that_ could have been spared...! I step carefully over the ribbons of my carpet and pick up the biggest peice that still resembled what once was my favorite lamp. Why, lamp, why?! I sigh. Do you still think I'd say that out loud? Geez, it's like you don't know me at all! Where did all this blood come from?

"I made pancakes."

I hear Sasuke call me from the kitchen. What?? I look up and blink.

"What's that?"

He asks, clearly meaning what I had in my hand. I look around in exasperation, ready to give him hell, but then I stop. The living room looks the same as it ever did. Messy, but organised. Nothing broken or bloodied.

"What...?"

I murmur to myself, putting two or three fingers to my lips in confusion. I quickly look down at my other hand. It's just a small book that, according to the dust, had been sitting atop a pile of paper not to far away from me. I get back to my feet and grin a lopsided grin at my living god.

"Geez, I must've been really lost in thought there. Here."

I pass him the book and retrieve my towel and clothes before heading to the kitchen. Aw, great, I dripped on the carpet. Now the bugs will pop out of nowhere to freak me out! Mmmm, pancakes... I reach for the whipped cream but it's gone... God damn it! Why is the whipped cream always g-

"Is this a Make-Out Paradise book? This thing must be around 5 or six years old...! Why do you even _have_ this??"

... Oh, yeah... e-heh. Sasuke. I blush, spooning strawberries onto my plate. Ever since Sasuke started sneaking into my house to rape me in my sleep, I've been discovering all sorts of different foods magically spawning from the cupboard, and sometimes little piles of junk disappear. I figure, as long as he doesn't touch my ramen, I won't have to hurt him. I chew thoughtfully as I go over my morning. Something really weird happened, didn't it? Hmm, I remember taking a shower... Maybe I'm thinking of when I was banging on the door like an idiot. Yeah... Makes sense. I shrug and notice the time. Shit! I wolf down my food, pulling my pants on so I don't run into the street half naked again, and grab my satchel on my way out.

"We're gonna be late!"

I warn, but there's no answer. Gah, abandoned! Well, actually, he's likely sneaking out and frowning at me for blowing his cover. After all, it was _my_ idea for him to be sneaking around in the first place, after all the whining I did about 'don't break the fan girl hearts'. He was always so understanding, I love him SO much! When I run up to the school, he's already there, waiting for me behind the gate. I slow from a jog to a walk and we walk to class together, making me squee inside.

Gaara catches my eye when I step into the classroom, and gives me a strange look, which I return. I got the feeling I was forgetting something again, and obviously so did he. I slip into my seat, and Sasuke sits beside me. He looks irritated, but I need to figure this out before I forget again. Sorry...!

"Gaara-"

"I know."

"Did you... see something weird this morning?"

"I can't remember, but I think I did."

"What are you talking about?"

Sasuke snaps. I think he thinks Gaara was spying on us or something. We give him similar looks and he blinks in surprise; apparently he didn't think he'd ever be out of the loop. He settles his lips on his folded hands with a grim expression, one I learned meant he was either gathering information or lost in serious thought.

"That's right... I almost killed Kiba this morning by accident when I saw-"

This gets my attention again, and I jump up in shock. Gaara would NEVER hurt Kiba!

"WHAT?!"

"Uzumaki, thanks for volunteering, please come to the front of class and demonstrate this technique."

I gape, but scuttle past Sasuke and down the stairs to the front where I turn to face the class. Life always has such good timing. Or horrible, depending on how you look at it. Suddenly the classroom was empty, nothing but rubble surrounding me, and I could see bodies under chunks of ceiling, and blood was oozing almost from the ground itself. A random hand sticking up almost right beside me twitched, and I screamed. I don't know why I did, I wasn't even scared, but the next thing I knew I was standing at the front of the class, screaming my brains out for no reason, and everyone was staring in shock and disgust.

All except for Sasuke and Gaara, who had each other by the collar, frozen in surprise. I stopped abruptly by clapping my hand over my mouth, and the teacher opened his mouth to say something nasty. Before he had a chance however, I was hoisted off my feet and dragged out of the room. I noticed a girl with pink hair glaring daggers at me before the class was out of veiw.

"Are you okay? Answer me, are you hurt?"

Sasuke wasn't giving me time to answer, but to be honest, I wasn't sure I could have. My mind was blank.

"Naruto! Shit...!"

"His chakra's doing weird things."

"Duh, he's a fucking magnet for weird things!"

I giggled. Weird things. Where was I again?

"Naruto!"

"Where!?"

I asked quickly with a serious frown as we swooped around a corner and into the nurses office. A lady jumped to her feet and quickly straightened her outfit as if she hadn't been startled out of her wits for a half second. Sasuke shouted at her, and she pulled me to a chair where I sat down heavily. What was going on? Was I sick? Why was everyone freaking out?

"I'm fine, I didn't trip!"

I insisted in exasperation, but she was rushing though a bunch of quick tests anyway, Sasuke shouting the whole time. The red head had to pin him to the ground and cover his mouth to silence him, which amused me to watch I must say. Wow, Sasuke sure was strong. I turned my attention back to the woman, who had a scary face on that made me cringe like she was going to hit me. She looked a little hurt in her surprise, but quickly turned to inform the boy holding down Sasuke that she didn't know what was wrong and that she was sending for help.

"Oh, oh, I can help!"

I quickly stood up. But she pushed me back down. I hated her touching me, it felt so gross for some reason. Sasuke struggled harder, and threw the red head off, but before he could get to me, he was wrapped in sand. That _really_ got me, and I practically jumped out of my chair and hid behind a counter.

"Oh my god, the sand is alive! Someone help, It's got Sasuke!"

Everyone in the room stopped and took a deep breathe so I could understand them.

"Do you know where you are?"

"Uh... the hospital?"

"... Do you remember where you live?"

"Yeah sure, but there's no point; it's all destroyed anyway."

She blinked like a fish. Or is it a bug?

"Don't worry, the sand isn't... alive."

Sasuke said awkwardly, and he was put back on his feet. He came to my side and pulled me from my hiding spot carefully. I was covered in blood, and it dripped from my bangs into my eyes, blinding me temporarily.

"Hey, this is a hospital, right? Can someone pass me a towel or something? I'm getting blood all over the place and it's nauseating."

They just stared at me.

"What?"

* * *

**This is SO far from all the previous drafts that I wrote and lost... it's not even... Well... it's more interesting, I suppose, and I plan to keep the knife incident, because when I wrote that it just made me unbelievably happy. So look forward to stuff you don't understand right now. w00t. ... Oh, gawd, horribly typical ending to the chapter. -bricked- I have to stop starting with people waking up.**

**...  
**

**I know, it's wrong! You all hate me. What the hell am I doing to your Uke... Or Seme, depending on how you want to go about it...**

**WELL! ... I don't actually have an answer. The rest will be written from Sasuke's point of view, due to... well, I think you know why. ... BECAUSE I CAN'T PLAY MEMORY LOSS! D8 LOL! I know you were thinkin' something else a little more exciting. I especially can't do memory loss that makes you... what?! smarter?! Who told me to write this!?**

**Naruto: Tune in next week!**

**Next Chapter: Tyori gets serious!  
**

**Tyori: But... I'm not a serious person! I-I'm spastic, and food-loving! D'8 and I swear sometimes!  
**

**Sasuke: If you fuck up my character...**

**Naruto: Bye! XD  
**


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